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DonInLondon London Times January 2 2008



DonInLondon - Journeyman - Listener
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This Week January 1 - 6 2008
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January 2 2008 Update due 23:00 GMT

January 1 2008

DonInLondon - ‘Day in the Life’ Back To Basics In Living

Day By Day

Somehow and it may seem strange to anyone who has not had to face chronic ailments, I feel more alive today than for many years. An alcoholic in recovery I am. And I make it plain that is what I am. I am also human and feel as most people may do, judged sometimes by others.

Herbert Spencer said something along the lines of:

"There is a principle, which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation"

I have been that man, who throws contempt as concern. I have been that man who judged as he was taught. And these days I reel when I feel the hand of judgment offered in friendship and still the judgment is made with contempt and without any investigation.

Basics

The basics of my living is simply to be open, honest and willing to make the best of each day as I present and the day is present. I am making progress and not in any shape or form in a place of grace and perfection. Indeed life has taught me over and over, no one person is perfect and no one person may judge another without form, purpose or knowledge greater than that of any human in ordinary conduct. Where conduct is outside civilised and societal boundaries, outside the law, the "state" in principal and in reality will make a judgment to conduct contrary to laws made to secure our democratic freedoms.

In the last few weeks my life has appreciably become better. No longer an itinerant, no longer classified by the state as homeless. And to the good of good conscience and how our system in the UK works, I have a roof over my head.

Ailments We All Can Have

Following breakdowns in my physical, emotional and mental state. I spent many years trying to find ways to put myself back together. And in the process I found myself neither capable or able to rise above ailments which have manifested and remain chronic each and every day.

Self Inflicted Wounds

I am an alcoholic in recovery. Alcoholism like other addictions is a permanent and ongoing chronic condition. I am in recovery these last few, very few years and continue in sobriety because of a fellowship called alcoholics anonymous. Self Inflicted wound? I hear the powerful self willed types mulling over this and still even with all the power intellect may have to accept this basic truth, prejudice oozes from those who don’t have the malady. I have no problem with that. Life is full of prejudice of one sort or another.

In addition, with good health care and professional diagnosis, I have clinical depression, which manifest as it will when it wants and not when I want. I don’t want clinical depression, still I have it.

And in sobriety, simply because I am alive and still subject to all human maladies, after some simple surgery I became type 1 diabetic.

Dealing With Life

Life works for me, as best I can, to ensure what can be done to keep as well as one can with three chronic conditions.

I have no complaints whatsoever as life just is the way it is. I realise the gift of living offers all manner of ailments, and as the passage of time tick tock’s along, chronic ailments do not go away, they remain a feature of life today.

In My World Of Now

I learn daily how life may be, I don’t quite know how it will be or what may interrupt the flow of life.

Fellowship of AA

Every day fellowship teaches me about me, learning from others experience strength and hope, learning what may work for me and not work as I can make choices in this discovery of living a day at a time.

Spiritual Principles?

Truth is the rock of all spiritual understanding, an open honest and willing attitude to understand how life may be.

Prejudice, denials, life experience offer filters. The seven vices or sins, Luxuria (extravagance, later lust), Gula (gluttony), Avaritia (greed), Acedia (sloth), Ira (wrath), Invidia (envy), and Superbia (pride). I would add judgment of our fellow man as an eighth were it not in there already.

How these manifest in ourselves and in others is apparent to us. How we deal with our own situation is best done with help support and in my case a wide and varied life, a fellowship which offers sound principles for living.

Progress for Me?

I need keep a weather eye on how I do, and actually I ask for support and get it in fellowship. Most of the time from those who know me well enough, I get sound practical suggestions.

I need to deal with my concerns and keep a steady path, trying not to judge where anyone else may be in their life process and their progress to happy and worthwhile living.

Challenge

The challenge sometimes for me is to be careful and considerate of the feelings and outlooks of anyone I encounter. I need not judge anothers path or compare where and how my life is today. If I did compare? Well I need find the right measure to help me find my way. The seven virtues, virtues are chastity, abstinence, temperance, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. When I start to work on my inventory and how I am doing, I realise that in my whole life, I have experienced both the vices and virtues of living.

We Cannot Escape From The Human Condition

Indeed the human condition and society these days, makes for a difficult path as society has levelled and made virtues out of some of the vices we encounter. Or we do, by believing these principles are negotiable and we are able to get away with things we believe others less clever are then left reeling and plunging into deeper troubles than ourselves.

Judging Other’s

A human pastime as we learn how to live. I am unlearning this particular failing every day or I lose my serenity. As I may be judged quite harshly for my outlooks and exposure, I know others often are busy with their rock piles and their gossip.

Gossip

One of the primary reason for anyone in our fellowship to feel undermined and under valued. Gossip indeed to the sensitive mind can kill. Or in my case find a deep suppressed sadness when I realise I am judged.

Active Alcoholics

Some active alcoholics look down on me because of my recovery and my other ailments which they feel preclude me having an adventure into the world of alcohol. I know I can say anything and they will remain convinced I would die if I relapsed. And they may be right. I have no desire just for today to test their theories.

Recovering Alcoholics with Wisdom

I have support and challenges from contemporaries who quite naturally and with love do ask me hard questions about me and my recovery. I welcome feedback or how else can we progress? We need feedback from trusted objective sources as much as we need family and friends to support us.

If only life were that simple! Most of the time it is so. And then again there are times as gossip is often a form of barter to some with less clear objectives and time on their hands. And interest in the fallen seems pertinent when determining ones place in society. Not so in fellowship as prejudice has no place, even though some make it so. And of course prejudice without evidence or worse prejudice with contempt prior to investigation offers to troubled mind solace looking down on their fellows.

So life and the basics are pretty necessary parts of my daily recovery. I need make sure I keep my side of the street clean as best one can. I too can be judgmental. And when this happens I need tend to my outlook with due care and attention.




Daily Reflections January 2 2007

FIRST, THE FOUNDATION

Is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning.

As Bill Sees It, p. 8

Practicing the A.A. program is like building a house. First I had to pour a big, thick concrete slab on which to erect the house; that, to me, was the equivalent of stopping drinking. But it's pretty uncomfortable living on a concrete slab, unprotected and exposed to the heat, cold, wind and rain. So I built a room on the slab by starting to practice the program. The first room was rickety because I wasn't used to the work. But as time passed, as I practiced the program, I learned to build better rooms. The more I practiced, and the more I built, the more comfortable, and happy, was the home I now have to
live in.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

What makes A.A. work? The first thing is to have a revulsion against myself and my way of living. Then I must admit I was helpless, that alcohol had me licked and I couldn't do anything about it. The next thing is to honestly want to quit the old life. Then I must surrender my life to a Higher Power, put my drinking problem in His hands and leave it there. After these things are done, I should attend meetings regularly for fellowship and sharing. I should also try to help other alcoholics. Am I doing these things?

Meditation For The Day

You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weigh yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and breathe in the blessing of each new day.

As Bill Sees It

The Fine Art Of Alibis, p.279

The majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us,
self-justification was the maker of excuses for drinking and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art.
We had to drink because times were hard or times were good, We had to drink because at home we were smothered with love or not
none at all. We had to drink at work because we were great successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation
had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum.
To see how our own erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the
word "blame" from our speech and thought.
12 & 12
1. pp. 46-47
2. p. 47



January 1st 2007 (written New Year‘s Eve UK Time)

God Made Man - Man Made God

Odd that this subject has hit me today and last night. I feel it is entirely relevant to everything we cherish and believe. The relationship we form with our world and the Universe.

The Universe appears infinite to me, and I have no mathematical brain or understanding of physics. The Universe so vast and we humans so small in comparison.

Without doubt I have confidence in the theory of evolution, as confident as Darwin when he first began to express the pattern of evolution. And as we know from our own personal experience we are forever evolving or are we staying the same? We are evolving on a personal level as we age, and then we decay and expire. And yet we are not satisfied with evolution in scientific terms or the reality of the here and now, we feel there is more to this than meets the eye and five senses we have. Indeed we know there are more than five senses, or do we? We all have equal rights in my view to what we choose to believe.

Entitlement to our Faith and Belief

We have a perfect right to believe what we may and find faith and courage through our endeavours and learning, and of course we know we have a spiritual connection to life as well.

Why though are we so challenged by belief and spiritual and faith? What has faith or spiritual ever done to be so difficult to explain or understand. We are not foolish, we humans, and yet…

The Universe so Vast

Our Universe is beyond our imagination or comprehension, so it seems until we listen and hear theories and explanations which we can accept. And as we see its vastness, that it is certainly bigger than us, and we are hardly visible within it, we know God made Mankind, or do we? And our relationship to a divine being so personal to us all that we understand that God is watching over us…

I am pondering and will write more as I feel able.

My question tonight I guess is why there need be belief in a direct connection to a divine presence, and what has this connection got to do with anything we do day by day. What makes the difference to our living? And have we a conscience to the good inside us? How are we to make sense of living at all?

Yet living seems paramount these days, and what we do and what we endeavour is of great importance as we live and learn life.

Till later and now:

Today and New Years Day

As we celebrate another year of living. I guess some of us are pretty pleased just to be here and witness it.

What do I contend with day to day?

Three conditions to my living as I strive just to be the equal of the day. I state these conditions as they are part of me and part of my living. Everyone works hard no doubt to be well and be able to make sense of life.

First, as you see from my writing, I am a recovering alcoholic. And this is my third year into recovery. And to maintain sobriety I have a fellowship which helps me maintain stability and mental acuity. The problem facing any addict is to find a path of recovery, and my path is made possible with AA, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Second, I have Type 1 diabetes. Diabetes was diagnosed in 1995. How long had I had it? Well it turns out it was caused by a nasty shock to my system, a virus, or just the shock of a minor operation I had. And how do I know? Well I was happy to believe it was a self inflicted consequence of my alcoholism, turns out it was not me this time. Anyway whatever the reasons, it does not matter, type 1 diabetes is it.

Another part of the diabetes story, I cannot walk without pain, because of diabetic neuropathy. My nerves are dying off. So in order to get about, I cycle wherever possible when walking is not possible, that is all the time.

Third, I have clinical depression. What is it? It is a chemical imbalance in my brain function. I am as a rule in depression. With help however from medical expertise like the diabetes, I get on with what I have.

Alcoholics anonymous makes me able to function day to day, and helps with the other two conditions, diabetes and clinical depression. I cannot reverse these conditions, however I can manage with what I have and make the best of living.

The question of God

In my world, where some elements of me have been below par (ordinary) since day 1, and other elements of living have got harder, am I complaining today?

The answer is no. And the simple solution which has only taken me fifty years to get to, is acceptance. Acceptance of what is, no need to complain or be fed up, no need to shout at the world or God. No need to do anything?

Yes I do need to do everything which makes life worth living a day at a time.

God

Well for me Nature and Providence hold the key to living today. Nature and Providence, I use these two words a lot. They suggest there is something beyond the present moment, which had a purpose in creating the Universe.

I have no argument with a higher power or purpose behind Nature and Providence.

At the same time I have great respect for science and medical breakthrough’s which have kept me alive long enough to find courage and faith in humanity to make life worth living at all. I am two years alive with the aid of medical science and humanity, and a government and which believes in keeping people healthy. I have the good fortune to live in the UK, and there are many other places in this world where I would have expired long ago from simple yet treatable conditions.

God and the Universe

So big and so beautiful a belief? Nature and Providence is where I live, as to the bigger questions, I have no ready answer. And I don’t really expect one. I am content with the cards dealt me by my life and my choices. I have gained experience and wisdom from living, so the journey has been made. And maybe the journey continues just a day at a time.

Spiritual

Not wishing to upset anyone, spiritual connection to this Universe and its purpose…

Well I am happy to be as sober and switched on to my life, to see it with clarity given by nature and providence. I am happy to keep on learning life as long as it continues.

Spiritual

AA is all about spiritual. And the founders of the fellowship realised spiritual is simply living in the moment of now. Using every faculty we have to understand our living and our purpose. To live life on Life’s terms!

Life

Life turns out as it may with choices we make. We make lots of choices to good conscience and our darker side of self will and obsession. When we make ourselves the equal of life, and equal to all who live we work life well.

Work it! We are Worth it!

We often say at the end of meetings the serenity prayer, and it has a God at its centre, for me the word God is about "Good Conscience"

" God (an appeal to my good conscience and that of humanity)

Grant me the Serenity
To Accept the things I cannot Change
Courage to change the things I Can
And wisdom to Know the Difference"

An as we and other anonymous fellowships add,

"It works if you work it, so work it you are worth it!"

Life, Spiritual

Work hard at living. We all work hard at life, and if we do work hard, and we endeavour always, we can make life work to good conscience. And we are all worth it, when we get this spiritual endeavour.

Seeing life as it is, without hindrance of denial or self obsession is the true path of spiritual living, with courage and faith.

So often, fear, bravery and Ego drive mankind to disaster after disaster, the obsession of will and inequality and prejudice.

Life works

The magic of living is precisely in the moment of experience, that true spiritual gift of right now. And we can make life work, as we work at it. Sitting and waiting for life? It will pass us by.

Humanity

Some day, and not forever most likely as we make progress, our comprehension and evolution will help us expand our understanding of living and this Universe, until then, work life, you are with it and live to good conscience.

We will meet our maker, our higher power soon enough, in the meantime we best utilise Nature and Providence as we may, and do so just for today, to the good of ourselves and humanity.

January 1st 2006

Love

Love comes top of every human beings primal drive. We want and need it, we don’t want and don’t need it. What are to do…

Seems I forget my love needs most of the time, at least on a conscious level. I may take my love requirements for granted. Maybe I am truly accepting of love to and from others. Maybe I avoid love and its consequences. Maybe

Yet love is always there. Admitted or not we do have love of one sort or another surrounding us all the time. And love after all, it is the number one reason we carry on living. Without love there is no point.

Love affects us all in different ways and with different people. Love is shallow, love is deep and love will keep us awake for an age when its out of balance. Too much love and we are ‘luvved’ up. Too little love and our feelings of starvation makes for sadness and insomnia. Love, very powerful when its there, very powerful when its not.

A balance of love in our lives may feel the most elating and happy sensation known to all beings on this planet. There is nothing to compare to a balance of love, equal in all respects and meeting our needs and wants for love.

Sometimes seems distant, out of our reach, sometimes overwhelming from others we cannot absorb. Sometimes we are damaged in repair from our love. And sometimes bereft where grief holds us together and love lost forever.

Day to day we don’t reckon much to love as it surrounds and heals all manner of life. We don’t know its there and even forget what it is, until its gone and emptiness grows inside.

Why pick love to write about on a rainy day, not far from a new year and posting to the world why love came around….

Simply to remind myself what it is, who I love and why, new love and old love, love gone forever, and love recollected living somewhere beyond my reach. And love round the corner welcomed without fear, love complete and very, very near.

The gift of nature and goodness knows what, we have love in abundance, was it from God? My word this love covers about all we might do to others and ourselves over a lifetime and maybe more as our memory is held in others we know and know us.

This gift of nature manifests so many ways in all our behaviour and thinking as well. Love is to blame for every other emotion we feel.

Logical and intellectual, love is described

1.strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers: affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address 4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God

I am reminded every day how to love and feel love. Of the balance of love in my life. Like a body of liquid pushed this way and that ever fluid and filling to capacity where it will go. Received and rejected indeed ebbs and flows, into one or another love tends to go.

Both physic and metaphysic, love knows no bounds when love finds its boundaries, and humanity follows.

Love offers us light in the darkest of days and love makes dark of the lightest of light when we make heavy our way. Light and the dark of life, love is involved, with its touch and its loss.

Be mindful of love, its up and down call to every emotion we have, inside us all.

Confront with even hand our love inside, we get what we give as we learn through our lives.

We cannot make others love us and they cannot make us love them. Through our conduct our presence and inner being and belief, love finds expression and shared connection.

Love at first sight, so delicious a treat, love over time a cherished delight.

Our inter-dependence develops our love, for others and self, beyond any measures…

Who measures when love does come to town? No one until it leaves…

Love is our soul and our reason for life, best cherish it, develop it, throw it away, find it, live it experience it write about it, share it and accept love, its light and dark, joy and sadness, innocence and corruption, ever changing, never ending colossus and meaning of life…

To all loves, past and present, a wish for gentle days and times, joys a plenty to wash away sad reflections, maybe not! For we need both to be complete...

January 1st 2005

Haunting Melodies

We cannot change a moment of past let past rest easy in memory.

New year dawns a world away, as we play catch-up in this hemisphere. Yet as this world turns and moves on, we are laden with memory. Good, bad and indifferent we store memories rightfully, to help us with this day, as memorable in our mind to the past and shaping our responses to future days.

Rich and heartfelt moments, a catalogue, a library in which we indulge to form a view of now. Our feelings for the day, our responses to what prevails. Seek out your happiness, where it confirms your choices for.. 'the common and personal good'. Seek out your similarity and immerse your presence in your world. Value our diversity and gifts, we share them all. Enrich yourself and fellows with support and worldly experience.

Be patient as nature throws us off balance, makes living as tough as it gets, and work with all Natures, that of Man, that of the Earth, our World as it spins beyond control. Work with what is, today, and what might be? What might be is the infinite possibility of your life, connected with every other, today and forever.

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.































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