January 7 2008

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ We Need Find Our Own Spiritual Path

If I Tell you What To Do How Will You Ever Learn?

There is no one formula for life and the living, we need find our own path. My path need not be yours and yours is as you choose.

I know I don’t have all the answers and I am heartily pleased I am the same as anyone else. Just a Learner. Or maybe with a lot of acceptance I am glad to be the same size as other humans and equal as may be. And a learner everyday.

Judging Life

We do, we are human, we judge all day long and make assumptions and make the devil of a pickle if we continue to react as we always do and change nothing. Nothing changes as we react, everything can change as we respond..

I mentioned on a number of occasions feelings never lie, we do.

Why am I so certain of this? Nature gave us feelings, and we feel love first as we grow. Or we learn we have no love as we grow. We are though eminently teachable if we let go our judging behaviours when it comes to us and our feelings.

Wake Up, Wake Up Just for Today

When I wake up, I start feeling straight away, and these feelings can be joy, be sad, be courageous, be fearful. We might want to pretend how we are, that we are ok. We know from experience if we tell the truth of our feelings we might be in for trouble!

We Need Know ourselves and Our Feelings

Nervous to do well, is a split decision often between nervous excitement and wanting, and fear of what we want and failing to achieve our want. Maybe there is another way

Start with What We Need

We need some self esteem, we can do a lot to find our self esteem as we start a day as we may. A thorough reckoning of the needs we have. Meet the basics, feed ourselves, check our feelings, share the with? Your partner, your higher power, the dog, the cat. Sharing is expressing what’s inside and knowing we are not always alone. We keep ourselves from being isolated. And when we are hard against deadlines we need find a way to keep ourselves as able as we may. Being tired leads to a fix if we are in the wrong frame of mind and we are definitely able to argue our way to a fix..

Contact With The Day

The better we see the day as real, the better we meet its challenge. Somehow as many can say, if we keep a conscious contact with this one day, and often just the moment of now, we find our truth.

Truth In the Day

With less filters and less denials is my understanding of spiritual. Being in the now, not last week not tomorrow or planning years ahead. Today counts.

As Ghandi suggests, ‘God Is Truth,’ Truth offers Love

And beyond the dreams of yesterday, today is far more open and we are open to anything and everything. How we make our choices is best with informed truth. My truth is better for sharing and common understanding.

Alone

We need never be alone when we find our truth and good company as we make our way. Sharing counts and helps inform us.

We need support and some direction, at the same time we must find our own path, or what indeed was the purpose for living. We can start again anytime, as life moves us up and down, here and there. Find that constant which helps centre us, for me today, this is the truth of now, best shared and in company.

Believe in what you understand, make good connections and know where you journey, just for today.

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Daily Reflections January 7 2008

AT THE TURNING POINT

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity. Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

When temptation comes, as it does sometimes to all of us, I will say to myself: "No, my whole life depends on not taking that drink and nothing in the world can make me do it." Besides, I have promised that Higher Power that I wouldn't do it. I know that God doesn't want me to drink and I won't break my promise to God. I've given up my right to drink and it's not my decision any longer. Have I made the choice once and for all, so that there's no going back on it?

Meditation For The Day

In silence comes God's meaning to the heart. I cannot judge when it enters the heart. I can only judge by results. God's word is spoken to the secret places of my heart and, in some hour of temptation, I find that word and realize its value for the first time. when I need it, I find it there. "Thy Father, who seethe in secret, shall reward thee openly."

As Bill Sees It

Going It Alone, p. 274

Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God
when it was plain that they were mistaken? Lacking both practice and humility, they deluded themselves and were so able to justify the most arrant nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told them.

People of very high spiritual development almost always insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic, blunders. While the comment or advice of others may not be infallible, it is likely to be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater than ourselves.

12 & 12, p. 60

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January 7th 2007 - Written Last Night

Saturday Double

For a long time now I have found going to AA meetings hugely beneficial to my living. And especially on Saturdays I really enjoy getting to a morning and late afternoon meeting. This time of year we get many fellows of AA returning from "research" back out in the field, as Christmas and New Year are always testing times for us alcoholics.

Newcomers

This is the news of the last fortnight, wherever I have been there have been new people coming along to the fellowship of AA, after continuous or binge drinking, and taking too much alcohol over the holiday period. Nobody and I reckon there are very few who come, make a mistake in seeing what AA is all about. Anyone who has found that their drinking has taken on a new dimension, where there seems no way to stop or the consequences are getting too much to bear, they drop in to see what AA may do for them.

Old Timers

So often our old timers in the programme have their radar switched off to newcomers into the programme, its as if in getting sober we can be forgetful how daunting it is to come into an AA meeting for the first time.

After all who wants to go to an AA meeting ever? Well only those who realise their problem and feel there is no alternative. AA is the last chance saloon for most last gaspers. Yet these days newcomers come along when they are merely sliding into oblivion.

Recently I see there is some difference between where I got to, complete meltdown and some, nearly at the meltdown. And of course there are some I recognise clearly with just about no hope of ever finding their path to recovery.

We forget easily in recovery, this disease kills most people and AA is a last chance when other ways have failed, and then there is truly the oblivion where all ailments come and death follows so slowly or quickly, it matters not, the torture is set to destruction.

Tonight and this Morning

This morning some people newly back and some so happy they could burst with enthusiasm. We had a great "chair speaker" who shared their full story, just highlights and they were so insightful into their own recovery and what made it work.

Some people recite, "it works if you work it, so work it you are worth it"
Seems like a bit of a wind up statement, yet the truth is working recovery is a matter of life lived well, or a quick or slow death in misery depending on a persons physical strength and emotional tenacity.

Last night

I just need to mention someone sharing last night too, who is an atheist. What they said was entirely relevant to the spiritual path of AA, it is a spiritual way of living - spiritual is living life in the moment of now without filters - They said even though they are an atheist they still said their prayers and meditated on the way to live. The prayers are to good conscience and that inner voice we have with us all the time we are awake.

Inner Voice

We all have one, its our head, or our conscience which says how we feel about things. We do hold a conversation in our heads and then often censor it when we speak. Its that inner voice which says I can keep drinking, or it’s a great day or it’s a lousy day. Or it judges others as we go about our daily life, or says, I am tired, or lets go get spangled and fuck it all. That’s our inner voice which wants and wants things our way. And the inner voice can also say what is best for us, and we ignore it when we are addicted and get on with drinking or whatever it may be.

Back to today

It was good to share my past experience of Chelsea and Westminster hospital, I have been a resident, when my life was on the line through drink. Miserable times when I was there in fear, in a place of putting on a brave face, and using my ego to minimise my feelings about my drinking.

And now when I attend meetings in the basement room, I go with courage and confidence which comes from my fellowship to share my life and living these days. Courage and faith, which comes from fellowship and good conscience working for me, and not fear. For fear does require bravery, to overcome it and the ego too which is puffed up when confidence is lost in addiction and some insecurity.

And Tonight

Well a strong share from a good old timer. At the same time and I shared more about how I got to AA, than what I do now. We need to remind ourselves and the newcomer of the transition from drinking and addiction to sobriety, although painful is well worth it. And I know we need focus on practical steps before we ever talk spiritual path of living. For the spiritual matters most people have their views and don’t need share them in early days.

And of God, used inappropriately and shared about in my humble opinion a bit too freely, rather than the practical steps to recovering, well my views are allowed and so are those who have God in their repertoire! Smiles I know both paths work as we work hard at recovery. And in writing these words I need not be troubled by God or how he she or it or good conscience manifests. it’s a personal thing in the end. Yet early days are really about just getting to know that when we are powerless over alcohol and take a drink life becomes unmanageable, and that’s the message to get across.

So hopefully tonight there was balance. As each persons path is their own, I see I need be respectful of everyone’s beliefs. AA is not secular, nor is it God bound, spiritual it is as life lived in the moment is really our true place of spiritual in the ever present moment of now.

Alternatives to tonight

I must smile here for I may have been out to see a film, and be in company, and actually I reckon more was accomplished in being in the meeting. Another day for film viewing I guess.

Overall a good day in recovery where I can relax and be myself, and let other people relax and be themselves.

I do feel concern for every newcomer who walks into AA. It will always be the worst moment when coming in and the best moment when we look back in hindsight with happy sobriety, just this one day at a time - the spiritual moment experienced without filters, right now!

January 7th 2006

Other Peoples Madness

We are all apt to be driven half mad by the behaviour of other people. The more we are experienced and learned, the more we all fall into traps of self will and opinion. I am no different.

I write across many blogs and time zones. I write mainly for myself and to get better expressing myself using words.

I try to contribute to others weblogs and sites, with their co-operation and agreement. And still I get caught out trusting others to have sense and judgment.

We might consider our behaviour anywhere, as open subject to scrutiny. We might be careful with our words and views. We aim for honesty if we are made that way, or dishonesty if not.

There is no superior view on life, and sadly often people assume that knowledge provides for higher order intellectual values of worth to society over other values of worth we develop all our lives.

Just because we develop expression and its various forms, it gives us no extra overall value over another who labours differently, to themselves or others, unless it is perceived and rewarded so. These perceptions will always change as we develop our humanity.

I have some misfortune again today, where trust has been abused and the likelihood that abuse others carry out is not even registering on the people who are involved. I am truly saddened by base and underhand attacks on people who are simply doing their best to survive this difficult world.

We can undo the well being of others with a look and a hard word. We might spend a lifetime putting them back together and never succeed. We need take care and stock of all people we encounter, and be careful with our feedback.

When our words hurt others or touch home and hard, we can be misunderstood and feel anger and defensive. We might learn to get over these times and situations. We must never forget our purpose, our intent. And providing there is integrity and fair dealing we can continue, and argue our case.

There is much humbug in this world. There are base and nasty people who feel they have superior wit and ego. There are people in this world who will match their venom and make good the balance in their own way and time. We need follow our internal compass and personal values to enact and live with ourselves.

And where others strike with ego's drift, where fear and insecurity pull the hapless to base worth, the winning is never good enough and the loss forever felt. Sad times where confidence is thin and the twist of satire stings with viper's tongue and stabs it just as well. It maybe made by clever intellect, and lost on no one, as we turn away and reflect in saddened moments and reject their repellent ways...

I have my mirror ready

January 7th 2005

Worthiness

Before I get any kind of advancement or promotion in life I need to have earned the right to it. There are no free gifts in life nor are there any short cuts to success of a lasting nature. Being worthy of any kind of responsibility requires an attitude of service to others. I earn a right only when I have given cooperation to others from my heart.

And there it is written somewhat bold... cooperation is the only way, with a level and even feeling for us all. Not with advantage or with capricious notions. With honesty and words spelt out. We need each other to varying degrees and amounts to prosper. Since the dawn of time, it is never one man's kingdom, it is society, with commitment and agreement which brings out the best in us all. Advancement and promotion, these are heavy words if shouted aloud for oneself, not so in a crowd, where collectively we advance to common purpose....

-/-

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