January 8 2008 DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’

Always A Learner

Seems to be a recurring theme for me these last few weeks. I am pleased this is so, and although there have been some up moments and many down moments, the balance today is somehow even.

New Meeting New People

I went to Maida Vale tonight, for a meeting titled Bill and Bob’s excellent adventure. For those in fellowship these names are known, they are the co founders of the fellowship of AA. And Bill and Bob were responsible for the understanding they found in how to get a person sober, including themselves and then share the message. AA meetings are really the first hand experience we need to share to help ourselves keep sober and at the same time pass on the experiences to new people coming into the fellowship.

Its only a few decades old - Alcoholics Anonymous

And we already have traditions which help our fellowship keep itself together. Much has changed the those decades and maybe the one thing we can be certain is there will always be alcoholics who need recovery. I mentioned recently that our health services estimate 1 in 13 in the adult population is alcohol or drug dependent in the UK. This is a large number and very few ever make it into sobriety without some help from somewhere.

Good Principles suggested to keep sober and Traditions to help us stay safe in fellowship.

No One Is In Charge

So helpful to me, I cannot be in charge, I cannot be the leader. Nor would I ever wish it so. Yet there are many who feel they have some power. Well for a while maybe.

I like our loose arrangement, people are free to do as they please, and still somehow we really come to understand the way to live in happiness or sadness as life offers when we hear experiences, strength and hope.

Sitting And Listening

We all learn over and over how to live from each other. We will have preferences and also differences. Some need outside help, some only need a glimpse and they are off and away, and in fellowship too. And some like me, slow and ponderous and simply happy to be getting there eventually.

AA is Not A Race

There is no race or finishing line in sobriety, just for a day is all we want and really need. One man or woman’s sobriety is not better or worse than another. We have life experiences which dictate how we may get along, we are all subject to ordinary life and what it deals.

Wisdom

Wisdom is not from books, its not from listening, its from doing and then sharing as we may. What might, may, could happen and what to do. So easy when we are ok, so hard when the chips are down and the journey of life can get rough. As it does.

So just for today

I need be mindful all I share may not be useful, maybe one or two things were. And for me I am never sure and leave the door open for more sharing as life can be very hard indeed. Care always and with love. A day at a time.

Not All New People

I am relieved always to find that I know people in the room I visit, and this room was very cosy on an otherwise cold January night. I did the chair and hopefully it was ok, I listen hard for feedback, not on the performance, but what people actually share about their living in the day.

This way we keep getting new ideas, reinforcing our understanding of sober and what is working. Tonight there were many with more experience than me, and this is my bonus if you like. I get to hear wisdom as well as fresh wisdom from newcomers too, and its just good to realise we are in the same boat and just about all pulling in the same direction.

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January 8th 2007

Powerless over People, Places and Things

Most of us are, although we may feel we have power over people, places and things. Our living makes us feel we are, our reality is not quite so. And when we wish to go about our affairs without hindrance or hurt, sometimes people unwittingly can cause us problems. Where its not intentional and without malice or prejudice, we can usually figure out a way to make things work out.

On the other hand where, there seems little or no chance of reconciling differences, our best route is to make tracks and let others get on with their affairs. Its not easy, as others can be offended or feel they have rights to exert their power and control over us. All ways round these situations become sticky and really beyond our capacities. Indeed its better to stay away from people who want to hurt us.

Hurt people hurt people, angry people often want others to be angry and feel pain or worse shame or guilt for not wanting to join in. Not supporting or joining with some people makes us targets. Most often people with narrow views and little substance can use hefty tools to hurt others, simply because they feel hurt.

The best way is to move on as quickly as one can and observe courtesy and distance. We don’t have to join in and fight unworthy people or causes. They want us to join in and feel their pain. So forgiving those who hurts us is probably the best way out, and as a consequence move out of their sphere of endeavour.

I have done this and left people to their own devices. And sometimes this may sound or feel like the battle or war, or whatever the situation is, is lost in some way. The truth is some things are really not worth the effort.

Why do I mention this?

Well we are never going to be friends with people who set out to hurt others, unless we have due cause. And truly today my opinion and thinking have been proved correct. A personal attack or two has been made against me, and it seems I am being made use of in some activity, which has nothing to do with me. So I have handed it over to others who may investigate the merits of actions against me and others involved. Handing things over to others is truly understanding my view and my outlook may be impaired and unfair. And if this is true, no harm done. If however others find malfeasance, then it truly is not my concern, it is theirs.

Higher Powers

I have to share that just about everything I encounter these days is of a higher power than me. Fortunately most higher powers I encounter regard my life and activities as pretty social and above board. As to others with their powers and their responsibilities and their conduct, it is not for me to judge, only to highlight their conduct and behaviour if needed.

No powers

No power on earth can convince me to work against good principles and ethics and values which are to the good of good conscience. While others have principles contrary to anyone’s good conscience, the consequence may be outside the individuals control. After all we can all make a mess and break rules which hurt or harm. The intent actually is the issue and why some actions and behaviour can have consequences beyond others imagination. And that is my view.

Today

So far a truly magnificent meeting of AA this morning. Where sharing was certainly very beneficial and deep.

We learn a lot every day about the human condition, our own and others. And truthfully we are all susceptible to errors of judgment. As we go along hopefully we learn and this was the way the meeting developed.

Much talk of wanting the world our way and as perfect as possible. And we all realised by the end of the meeting that much of life is about compromise and getting on together.

Fortunately there were no Saints or Martyrs to lost causes willing to string themselves up for vilification or further cruelties inflicted on themselves.

When people want it their way and no other way, they can hardly expect the best cooperation and also cannot expect their behaviour to go unnoticed when it breaches codes of conduct and even the law. We are all subject to societies values and ways of life. Our ways hopefully fit in as we learn our craft of living.

So all in all a good meeting.

And later I was side tracked for nearly an hour, and then realised it was not worth the effort on a personal level to pursue and challenge somebody else trying to harm me personally. So as mentioned the situation has been handed over to others.

It does bother me that I have made someone feel so angry and bitter, and consequently it makes them behave badly. I thought I had hoped to have left this world behind, and with most of my life it seems I have. So some progress. I know there are plenty of things I need make amends for as I go and will do as time allows and perception enables.

Progress not Perfection is emblazoned around this world as we all endeavour to get on, and as sure as can be, with our best intent and that of others it will not ever be easy. We have our different outlooks beliefs and way of looking at events and the world. We will always find people who disagree, and we will too.

Forgiving

Is an everyday action, for our own behaviour to others as we go about our business and for others too who conduct themselves as they will. We don’t need fight over small things, we need hand over situations which are not in our power to resolve. So we live and learn.

As an Antidote

It was said this morning over and over again by people who know more than me, when something happens we don’t care for or the world or something is not so good, go to a meeting. And this is precisely the answer today.

Go to meetings

When we are in need of direction I have always found my meetings of the AA fellowship help me determine what I can do. I don’t have to have power. I have to utilise life and society, and let it go where it may. And in this I do find peace.

Whether I am right or wrong, it I have made assumptions or made mistakes with others help I may learn to better ways. Nobody is perfect least of all me. And as to others conduct, I cannot judge, and let go and move on, and stick with endeavours which are positive and not detrimental.

So I shall go to a meeting and do a lot of listening and hear how I may move along just simply for today, and let tomorrow take c

January 8th 2006

Low Ebb

When others are at their lowest ebb, we might help restore their self-belief by keeping a clear vision of their undoubted goodness and specialities. And if they don't appear to be readily observable, give them a break.

Too often we judge, then in hindsight realise our quick to blame temperament overplays the gravitas of a situation. Mind we need our gut reaction to keep us alive. Now where is the balance in all this?

January 8th 2005

Deep Self-Respect

Spirituality creates the kind of deep self-respect that does not need praise or special attention.

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