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Archive January 13 2008 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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DonInLondon January 13 2008



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January 13 2008 DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Life In General

All about Recovery

Two meetings of AA [Alcoholics Anonymous]

I feel ok tonight, just right and equal sized, having just returned from my late Saturday meeting. I sat, listened and enjoyed just being there. Lots of people I know and newcomers. We do our best to keep sober a day at a time and help newcomers do just the same. Its all about getting our lives back on a sober track so the rest of living just follows as we are able.

No quick fixes for us, life is for endeavour and so far today its been worth it. I can relax. Some words written earlier this evening and journal extracts from previous years.…

A Right To Life and Living

Looking back at how I approached life, I can see many happy recollections, when I was on track and feeling ok. At the same time I wondered about the purpose. Life is to be lived and we all have a right to find our peace and happiness. It is relative I guess.

The World

Where we are born and how we develop is limited not only by our own outlook, it is often limited because of heritage and everything civilisation has learned. Scarce opportunity, geography have often as much to do with happiness as we are lead to believe what we may do in our society.

Opportunity

If we have them, then we can decide what to do. As we look back in history, we really only know about folk heroes and more extraordinary lives and living. We imagine ourselves in certain scenarios and we can live in dreams and denials of truth. The difference between dreams and denial, one is possible the other a straight lie about our reality. We need opportunity as much as we need drive to carry on in determined living.

Last years hard knocks included the loss of one of the family, that is my sister’s partner, Christopher. I came across a photo from a TV website where he was a guest expert on matter of economics and business. The picture made me realise just how much of a gap he made in day to day, for my sister and mother. And how his loss still feels just plain wrong.

Time Does Move Us along

And when we are able we see new possibilities. We don’t forget or stop grieving for losses. The process of closure always makes room for good memories as well as the sad. We can be hit in an instant of recollection and feel the barb of time.

Friendships

As we get on with living and in my case a very sober life presently, I can see the need to have friends and indeed I do. The good news some we get to know really well, and others who hold back, or have to hold back. When people hold back and keep their inner workings, their overall story superficial, we cannot get deep with them. And of course there are good reasons why we don’t get to hear some of the inner self from others, it can be just plain impossible for another to share it. So we end up the same way, somehow sharing in a superficial way.

Practice At Our Deeper Core

As we get along in living, we learn many ways to be with people we know and others who are remote, on the periphery. And we benefit when we learn our boundaries and safe comfort zones.

The Deep And Feelings

How we feel about ourselves and how we are able to share our real insides out, it is a voyage of discovery. Some with practice can do this sharing with ease, others like me work and then find the ease of ‘self sharing’ becomes a more comfortable practice which just yields more and more.

In The Modern World

Fast and Furious seems to be the order of every day. And we are often driven to follow our leaders, follow our icons and what they do, we can emulate to an extent. From our attitudes, to our behaviour, from how we share our lives, to how we dress, appear on the surface. And still there is more about ourselves we will never know, simply because we forget to keep on learning.

Gifts and Destruction

Some of us are completely and utterly destroyed in our living by addictions and all the complications thrown in our way, by our lives being so bent out of shape we have no clue which way is up or down, left or right. Like a pin ball in a pin ball machine, careering and never still till we disappear from the game.

Today

So far today has been pretty ok, weather bright and cold, the day feels fine and the cold a pleasure. A meeting of my fellowship and one to follow shortly. I am having a good Saturday.

Friendships - Learning to Love our Fellows

Beyond kinship, friendships are developing. Both men and women. Someone shared how wonderful it was to have real friends, both male and female as well as family. The gift of a sober head. The gift of friendship is as it is, deep and on a level where truth is more open, denial less a concern, and where we can be genuine and authentic.

Reality

When he hit reality and see who we can be friends with, how this works, how we are able to share. Its about inclusion, some control shared, and love. The elements of control, inclusion and love have been written over and over as stories we teach, how we were taught when young, and in our living day by day.

Learning who our friends are is a wonderful journey which requires much forgiveness for ourselves and for others. We will bond naturally with some, find others difficult to keep in our lives. Others will be awkward and cussed often providing the best learning about who is in and who is out.

It is not our journey to live in fear unless it is made so by repeated misgivings and distrust. Trust in our own understanding, trust is something which we learn and is truly often earned by deeds and not by right.

Wisdom

As in all matters, we get serenity when we accept the things we cannot change, find those things we can and get the wisdom to know the difference. A life long journey and applied in good heart keeps our path peaceful and happy as it may be. And able to deal with troubled times, again as reality bites hard then we learn our deep. And makes our living richer, deeper and lighter as moments in days makes us one way or another.

Anon




January 13th 2007

Feelings - what use are they?

Seems feelings are often wanted and some unwanted. We all need the full repertoire of feelings even if we would prefer we had none sometimes. There are parts of life connected to loss of friends and family we would prefer never happen or feel the pain it makes inside us. They do happen though and its always surprising what we learn from life.

As you may know from my video blog and my journal, some feelings this week have been unwelcome and made me want to retaliate and follow the lead of an antagonist. And I nearly did. I was told it had no value, that the person concerned had their own agenda and basically its none of my business what they say or do. I have also been advised its best not to look. And it was an actor and director who have had some success and some as they called them "Turkey’s" in their lives. So I might feel lucky its taken this long to get hateful and prejudicial impersonations.

And what they said, was as Oscar Wilde suggested, "there is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that’s not being talked about." And they also said its quite flattering to have such attention because we represent something that is worth having. Like morals and values and trying to live to the good and the next right thing. Friends have said the same. So they are quite right of course.

We find in all areas of life with feelings we can either find acceptance or most likely some self hate for what has happened. And in this instance I can only imagine the hurt felt by my impersonator. I do wish him well in all his enterprise which seems like a sound commercial exercise, and this is no saintly Don here, it just means if he succeeds at his endeavour he will be happy. And happy people get on with life and make more happiness.

Unhappy people tend to wallow and keep on going round and round in their small world of hurt. So all in all its far better to wish success and let them be whatever they can. There is no value in our negative emotional states, although we need have them to realise where the good of living resides.

So feelings one way or another need to be acknowledged and worked on. This week has proven a good all round. As with some down sides, there are always upsides and getting on. So I am very happy to feel where I am right now.

Resent Nothing?

We will for a while until we see its of no value, better always to forgive and make the world work as well as we can. Resentments when we have them, are about our Ego and not our Esteem, even if we have great intellect it seems intelligence is no help where feelings are concerned, so we have to work them out as well.

Feeling and then Thinking

We always have a gut reaction and then think through our situation. And we are often persuaded we may be involved and included, when in fact the opposite might be the best course of action our gut reaction says no when our intellect says yes? Maybe.

Always thou when it comes to feelings we think we are bigger than them, and in fact feelings are ignored at our peril. So we need to work them out.

Two Meetings Today

Both very good and very helpful to help me see the good of life right now, the history I have and the present where I need to be alert and open to what is happening and how I feel.

And also a couple of calls from fellows nearby with anger on their mind. As with anything which creates disorder and displeasure we are apt to strike out, when a moments pause or even a few days thinking can make a huge difference in all respects.

And tonight a chair by a great speaker who has learned so much of what forgiveness is. And in the end it seems as we accept life as it is, we do see all points of view and not just our own.

So for that reason, I tread a more careful path, more so from here on, to include or not as seems best. And a good consult with a fellow of AA who I have learned to trust will help immeasurably in future.

As to Now

Well my video is done and processing and maybe by now ready to be You Tube.

My post from now will be shorter in the written form, as I am advised five hundred words is enough at one sitting for anyone! Smiles except me who writes long pieces which are too much for internet consumption, so fair enough and so much shorter than of late…

Overall a good day of learning what is right and what is not right. For me only, a day at a time, and with great consideration for my values and others I care for. Maybe just an ordinary human doing human living is my goal, and that feels just right for me and everyone.

January 13th 2006

Powerlessness A Gift For All The Family

The only thing I can control is the way I choose to respond

January 13th 2005

Wonder

A cause of astonishment or admiration

It is with wonder we might look at our world. Wonder at the complexity and so too the simplicity. How we exist is much to wonder at, and wonder also at the multitude of similarities. There is complexity in all we see, and we can make it unmanageable easily.

Best to keep our wonder simple, not to understand everything, for this is impossible. Best to appreciate and experience our world and what it offers today. Beyond this day is a labyrinth, built on history and connections to futures we may only guess. Enjoy this day with wonder, with enquiry and with verve....

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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.










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Email Me Here

Don In London
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