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Archive January 15 2008 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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DonInLondon January 15 2008



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January 15 2008 DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Tuesdays Child

Tuesdays Child Is Full Of Grace

Words for Tuesdays Child: dignified, polite, and decent behaviour. Fits in well with a life in recovery. With incidents recently, nearly knocked off my bicycle and a return to old anger, even for a few minutes has a big and profound effect. I am human and having got some of my senses back it is so easy to fall into the chasm of past behaviour.

Wherever we are it is not easy to break the patterns of the past. For recovering alcoholics, addicts and anyone facing big life changes, the frustrations bubble up constantly. How hard is it to change our outlook?

Changes and Living

As life never stops, the ease back to old ways is obvious, what has worked in the past does not work today for me. Indignation, angry feelings just make me low as the residue of snapping back to old attitudes is inevitable.

How to break these patterns of attitude and behaviour? We can all find excuses to why we revert to type, ask anyone dealing with addiction, the balance in living is doing the new ways as much as we can and feeling every frustrating minute and angry retort at ourselves.

Attitudes And Behaviour

The keystones of much we can do, change our attitudes, our belief system, then change the behaviour so we can learn new ways to live.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Just a few decades old and still growing and having growing pains. A society or fellowship, not an organisation, which helps us all keep sober one day at a time, that is fellows in the fellowship. We are simply learning a different attitude and a different way to behave around alcohol.

And often as we move away from our fix, that is our way to fix reality with alcohol, leading straight to denial and filtering our outlook, reality does bite hard.

Early Days and Newcomers

A lot of newcomers and people back in early days. It is hard and we who have a few years clean time really do know the difference as we make good our lives in recovery from drink.

A State of Grace

Dignified, polite, and decent behaviour. A small phrase and from an old poem.
A State of grace these days is a hard and arduous task. We are all prone to be angry and hard pressed in a world which never sits still. And the truth of much that we encounter will impact hard, and a state of grace is momentary as the world shifts and tilts us in all directions at once.

We may find a moment of ‘grace’ and then as if by some evil force catapulted back into old fissures and ‘dark reactions as humans being human can evoke the good and worse the harsh dissonance based on fears stored over the years.’

As in all matters progress and imperfect we remain, the moments of grace may get more frequent the dark behaviours which turn us back to pain will haunt inevitably.

So on this blustery Tuesday morning I know all over again I am human. And adage that to err is human, to forgive divine? I am tempted to suggest with humility, to err is normal, to forgive is human and we learn as we may. We are not God and forgiving ourselves as we forgive others is an absolute key or we perish on the vine of life.




January 15th 2007

Evening

Just a brief addition tonight. It has been a good day overall. And so was yesterday in so many respects. I like life to be open and clear. As with any insecurity I might get, it’s a good idea to check out with others where my head is, in terms of understanding and feeling.

The big danger for anyone is isolated feeling and thinking and trying to work out everything on our own. When we try to complete and make life right without others who are involved, we can present them with finished and completed scenarios when we are still in the process of climbing on board with the concept.

Its been my long experience when I do this, I am still alone and have not involved all the key players. So easily done in some elements of life where the outcome is obvious and roles are already defined.

Not so easy as we adopt a strategy which is a day long in most cases. So its got to be a gradual process where everyone is moving in tandem and the "givens" are understood. So often we can have made assumptions and then found we are not quite sure where we are, and nor is anyone else.

History

Sometimes we view history and have an idea from it how things are to shape up in the present. We and me especially can make big howlers by not understanding that what was right yesterday has become a different scenario today.

Present

So with aplomb and encouragement I do check out where my head is, the assumptions I make and the place where I am sitting metaphorically speaking. In doing this the picture is clearer and the journey smoother as we all get on the same bus and head in the same direction.

Future

The future, well indeed is out there. A bit like anything we can imagine, we like the idea of a future and we have ideas how it may shape up. Its good to know there is a future. And still keep our feet on the ground in the here and now.

Past - Present - Future

The elements we have in our intellect driven by desire and feelings of what we need and want. So easy to construct we don’t give it a second thought often, and then other times we can make no sense or path of any description. And we can be doing this so many times over with so many aspects of our lives, we can either be in a muddle or in clover.

Happenstance and Serendipity

As for all our efforts we can find life just keeps on rolling as we encounter it, and the plans, prospects and everything need change as it may. There are no ways of knowing just how this will manifest until it happens.

Someone mentioned this morning we need our flexibility or we break on our own hard times, and find real rock bottoms as we are frustrated and sometimes thwarted in the simple things, when the overall picture is coming along really well.

Courage and Faith

This helps keep us focussed and able to move with openness and confidence. It keeps our less helpful friends of fear and bravery in reserve when the chips are really down and against us, and where Ego lurks hopefully as the tool of last resort…

Anyway enough for now.

January 15th 2006

Love And Obligation

Two words and two concepts and realities. The reality of love and how it manifests is what we believe it to be in our own minds. Our view and understanding, our experience of love is what it is. It is as good as we can make it, for love truly will make our world go round. And stop it as abruptly when we find love is missing, lost, withdrawn or generally lacking in our world.

Obligation is a hard word, full of hard feelings and realities. Our obligation to life is simply to live. No more or less, yet this obligation notion is something underpinning most our lives and activities.

Love and obligation makes our world confusing. Those we love we may hold to no obligation when our love is unconditional. And some argue that loves unconditional, so there is never an obligation. Yet we all know love and obligation has some connection, especially where love is given with some form of condition. Yes there are terms to our endearments until we realise the terms are always unacceptable!

Our learning and realities experiencing love, our need of it, our expression of it make us feel either right sized, downsized or oversized. And we have this want for love back and forth with our near and dear, our less close and our general love requirements from acquaintance and foe like.

We get very confused, we love and don't get some back, we get some, we don't want that much, we give it to those who don't want it and get none from those we do. Obligations, we may do well to dismiss.

Our contracts and assumptions to love and get loved are near always assumed and accepted. Its no wonder most divorce rates and rules about our love partners are so often ill formed and useless to both parties.

We need find love, not be scared of it or its lack, we are forever assuming we need be one way or another. And many subscribe to love being the key.

Acceptance is our real key, knowing where and how we are loved. And our real key to acceptance is through contact, discussion, sharing and grounding ourselves in our love education. The education of life, experiencing truth and love without obligation, even sized to our agreements forever negotiated by our behaviour and demeanour.

We owe nothing to our loved ones, we give everything to our loved ones without prejudice or obligation. And if we change in our love and we have made good our living contracts with our beloved, we make good our understandings and acceptance. Our key in this day.

January 15th 2005

Patience

Patience and more patience enables a closed mind to gently unfurl.

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.





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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.










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